![]() ![]() To Kill a Mockingbird was my mother's favorite book and my bedtime story. I went to law school to be another Atticus Finch. I didn't go to law school to be the butt of cruel jokes. "I don't think those jokes are funny, either. He adjusted the microphone so his deep sigh was audible, but he maintained steady eye contact with the audience. My friends, we are the butt of America's favorite jokes!" ![]() I can't go to a cocktail party or the country club without someone telling me a stupid lawyer joke. "Why aren't you laughing? Aren't those jokes funny? The public sure thinks those jokes are funny, damn funny. He looked around the crowded room, as if stunned. The lawyers on the dais focused on their lunches, embarrassed by their guest speaker's ill-advised attempt at humor. His audience had fallen deathly silent a sea of stone faces stared back at him. ![]() "Both have a one-in-a-million chance of turning out human."Īll efforts at diplomacy had ended. "What do lawyers and sperm have in common?" He did not pause this time. Less laughter, fewer smiles, a scattering of nervous coughs: diplomacy was failing fast. "Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste dumps and California get all the lawyers?" He paused again. His bar association audience responded with polite laughter and diplomatic smiles. "There are skid marks in front of the snake." What's the difference between a rattlesnake lying dead in the middle of a highway and a lawyer lying dead in the middle of a highway?" He paused. A Time to Read: Alan Cheuse's Holiday List ![]()
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